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Women barred from men's dining room at private golf club
Whoa! Wait a minute. How can that be? Where have I been? I keep thinking I have more freedom of movement about the world than I actually have. Here's one more place I can't go.
I just read that at the Phoenix Country Club women are not allowed in the men's grill room where the serious business deal making and dining occurs. No, the women who want find food to nosh on are pushed off into the women's grill which is smaller and without the buffet, the bar or the lovely view of the golf course. The women's grill has a hotplate.
There's a bit of a fuss going on at the country club since some members want to move on into modern times where a couple can eat eggs together for breakfast, for example. Some of the men are as appalled by living in the days when women weren't allowed in saloons--"respectable" women mind you and are having a time of it for standing up for their wives. This is true. Here's the article that covers the details. The story involves peeing on a pecan tree as well as other juicy grammar school-like tidbits.
But before you go to the article, consider this. Several years ago, and I'm talking many--when I lived in Columbia, South Carolina during middle school, my mom took my brother and me to a roller skating rink. When we found out we had to be members in order to skate, we decided that rink wasn't for us. Why not? Becoming members had to do with religion and skin color. We just happened to be the right religion and and the right skin color, but we didn't like the rules. We thought the rules should change.
Since then, I think, rules have changed. But, I often live in La-La-Land where we all get along, so I can't say if this is 100% so. *Before those of you from the south start sputtering, let me assure you I loved so much about South Carolina. Seventh grade was my Renaissance year and I was sad to move.
But, this story is about men and women and not race and religion--so perhaps, they aren't similar. After all, there are men's clubs and women's clubs--and most people wouldn't argue about that, so what's the difference?
If the women had a grill as good as the men's, and the business deal making happened outside the men's grill so women could participate, I wonder if there would be as much of an issue?
Here's what I mean. When I was in the Peace Corps, I had some friends who lived in my village who were from Pakistan. The women in the family--18 year-old twins and the mother, didn't interact with men other than their dad/husband because he was the only family member who lived in The Gambia.
These were wonderful people who treated me extremely well. Once there were men coming for dinner. Since the dad was to have guests, I was invited to keep them company where they would eat in another room. The food was put in the dining room. While the men filled up their plates, we waited in a bedroom with the door closed.
After the men went to the living room, and the door was closed to the dining room, we got our food. Okay, sure the men at first, but there was plenty left.
But, this isn't the same as the men's grill either. I was told I could go visit with the men if I wanted to. I didn't want to. Probably because I had a choice--and I was already in the best company.
As for the women who are at the Phoenix Country Club looking for some equity, I hope they have a frying pan if they want to cook up those eggs on their own.
And if any of you are heading off to a private club somewhere, check to see who can get in. It might surprise you.
Filed under: Activism, Arts and Culture, History, Business, Stories, Gambia, United States, News
Reader Comments (Page 1 of 1)
justa thought Jun 30th 2008 12:48PM
This club has at least one regular dining room where men and women sit down together to eat. I have not seen the layout at this particular club, but historically the men's grill in a club would be accessible from the men's locker room and the women's grill (or card room in some cases) was accessible off the ladies' locker room. Folks come out of the locker room in various states of disarray or grubbiness after a round of golf. Men can "scratch and spit" without offending anyone (not something I feel compelled to see) and woman can sit around and enjoy the club even if they wouldn't be caught dead in public looking wrung out after a round. I'm not sure why one would assume that the only business deals that go on in the club happen in the MEN's locker room.
Jamie Rhein Jun 30th 2008 12:51PM
According to the article that is linked to in this post, that's not the set up, but what you describe is a good idea. The article did say there was an issue to business deals happening over a meal. I once worked with a woman who wanted to be a school administrator. She took up golf because she knew golf was where deals were made. This is when we lived overseas. She is now an administrator.
Jamie
Dick Jun 30th 2008 3:42PM
Is the clue to this specific situation in the word PRIVATE?
Jamie Rhein Jun 30th 2008 3:46PM
Hi Dick,
That's the main clue. But, there are folks who are members of the club who think the use of private has perpetuated a circumstance they don't like--including some men.
Then there are others who like things just the way they are.
Robyn Jul 19th 2008 8:00PM
I don't understand why we can't have Men's clubs or women's club that are for just men or just women, especially when they are private. I mean, I live in a state where there is a women's college that doesn't allow men--and it's even a state school supported with tax dollars! Is that not wrong? We have integrated many male only schools (practically at gunpoint) yet it's ok to exclude men from state schools because of their gender and continue these exclusionary (i.e.anti-male) practices? I guess discrimination is ok if it's against men?
In this poorly argued article, there are complaints that there is more food and better facilities for the men. That's probably because there are more men in the club and they eat more. (I'll bet that there are probably NO facilities whatsoever for men at women's clubs!)
Have you noticed that new stadiums are being built with more bathrooms for women than men, even though men clearly outnumber women at sporting events? I'm sure that you'll agree that the numbers should be equal to prevent the long lines that now, because of this policy, form outside of men's bathrooms when women just glide in and out of their bathrooms. I would like to state that most women are like me and we agree that although we love our new stadiums, we don't like the discriminatory bathroom practices. Yes, I will give up a few of our women's bathrooms to the men to equal things out for everyone.
Get with the program and stop creating problems where there aren't any. Either we allow each to have their own or we allow neither. We must be gender neutral (just like with color, creed, religion or country of origin). Equality for all!
Snoglydox Dec 26th 2011 1:07PM
I was an honor student, yet I had to pay/work for my own college tuition. A fellow classmate friend was able to go to college on money for Hispanics, and another fellow classmate friend was able to go to college on money for African Americans. There are also college funds for women. Now these women are complaining that the faculties are not as good as the men’s at a place for men? Once a woman is allowed in a men’s club, then the men cannot be men, or the club will be sued. I find it interesting that many women of today in the United States complain that men are woosies, and this could be the main reason why; you cannot learn how to be a man from a woman…no matter what women want to tell you. Girls in boy-scouts…ridiculous. It is a state of mind; if women want a prestigious club, then they need to create one, and stop acting insecure by “looking up” to men.