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French Kissing: Just how many cheek kisses to give
The French bise (salutatory kiss on the cheek) is always slightly awkward for those of us who haven't grown up using it. Do you kiss once, twice, three times, or even four? Fortunately this map, made by a Frenchman named Gilles Debunne, gives a geographical explanation for just how many cheek kisses you should administer. The map was made after a poll that Debunne did with over 18,000 people, asking just how many bises they were used to doing upon meeting a fellow compatriot.
Unfortunately, a map can only do so much, and even within some départements there is still confusion on just how many bises to do. But here are some basic rules for French cheek-kissing that will help to make your introduction to a French person a little less awkward:
- You don't need to kiss the cheek of a superior (a boss, the President, etc.).
- Offer your right cheek; just like when you stretch out your arm for a handshake.
- Men can get away with not kissing each other hello; this is often reserved for very close friends or males with a familial connection.
- If you don't feel comfortable kissing people on the cheek, play the foreigner card and at least go for a handshake. Definitely make eye contact with everyone in the room; not making an effort to give an official hello is a major faux pas.
Filed under: Arts and Culture, Learning, Europe, France, Internet Tools
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Reader Comments (Page 1 of 1)
Emily Dilling Jun 24th 2008 8:54AM
This is a great and important insight into a potentially akward situation experienced by not only first time visitors to France, but also long time residents of the country. Every time I go to Lyon, I have to refamiliarize myself with the fact that they do the left-to-right cheek bise as opposed to the right/left combo practiced in Paris. However, I have to admit that one of my proudest moments in France was in Rennes, where I graduated from two bises status to the more personal four bises greetings with the host family I stayed with.
Oddly enough, a part from the various slip up when it comes to bis-ing in different parts of France, I find that when I go back to the states I feel incredibly akward when deciding how to greet people I don't know. Hug? Handshake? Nod of the head? The bise seems to cover it all and is something I've come to appreciated greatly.
Anna Brones Jun 24th 2008 11:06AM
Emily- good call, greetings in the States are equally as awkward... I too prefer the bise over the handshake vs. hug dilemma!
DJo Jun 25th 2008 6:04PM
Hey,
I'm french and i'm from Lyon. This map is very intersting for me too, while i'm travelling in France, i've got the same problem !
And you what are you doing in your country ?
Anna Jun 25th 2008 7:19PM
I am glad you liked it... I agree that even French people have the same problem as us foreigners... at least according to my French friends!
Kent Wien Jun 25th 2008 11:50PM
I just loved this post, Anna. And the video was a riot!
Thanks for helping me understand this a bit better!
Anna Brones Jun 26th 2008 2:39AM
I'm glad you appreciated the video... I died laughing!
Xing MING Jan 4th 2009 3:09AM
My boyfriend is French and I am from Hong Kong. I saw my boyfriend is kissing his female friend kissing on the cheek many times but not greeting kiss. Is it usual?