Escaping down an airplane slide: Handy tips
Sliding down an airplane slide looks a bit to me like sliding down one of those inflatable slide rides you see at a fair, amusement park or a carnival. Apparently, it's not the easiest way to depart an airplane, even if it's a more common occurrence than one thinks. According the this Time.com article, every 11 days in the U.S. people yell, "Whee!" or "Bombs away!" or "@#$%##$!" as they swing onto the inflated rubber for a ride to the ground. I jazzed it up with the dialog, but those are the statistics reported by the National Transportation Safety Board in 2000.
If the accident rate of the carnival rides was the same as an airplane slide, I'd say that ride would be shut down--or maybe kids and adolescents are just better at sliding than adults. When airplanes are tested, escape drills are part of the process. When the Airbus A 380 was tested, 33 out of 873 people got hurt. Only one person actually broke something--an arm. The others got a slide burn. If you've ever had someone drag you across a carpet with your skin making contact, you'll know what that's like.
To prevent injuries, know what to do in case you have a trip down an inflatable airplane slide in your future. Here are the tips in summary, although, for some reason, I've ended up with more numbered points and added some embellishment. For more detailed instructions, read the article.
1. Figure out your escape route when you first sit down. Exactly how many rows are you away from an exit?
2. Read the emergency card, even if you've flown five billion times.
3. Leave the luggage behind.
4. Help others get the airplane door open if they are in a panic and fumbling.
5. If you can't get out one exit, look for another
6. Jump onto the slide, don't try to sit down. Yell, "Whee!" for extra fun. (I added that just in case jumping makes you nervous. The whee might distract you.)
7. Cross your hands over your chest and put your heels up to avoid "unintentional cartwheels" as Amanda Ripley, the article's author writes. She says this also helps control the impact when you meet the ground.
8. Women should not fly wearing spiked heels and pantyhose. Pantyhose can melt right on you. Gad!
9. When you reach the ground, hustle out of the way so there's not some pile up at the bottom and someones foot doesn't whack you in the head.
10 tips for smarter flying
Filed under: Airlines, Transportation, News






















Reader Comments (Page 1 of 1)
Jul 17th 2008 @ 11:11AM
Linda said...
Yes, ladies and genleman our kindly men and women of the skies do have our best interest at heart. Follow thier instructions to the tee and in case of an emergency we may all survive. But, our chances maybe limited if by some reason they have pinched a nerve in thier back by trying to heist someone's akward and heavy bag overhead.When common sense tells us that bag should have gone underneath the in checked baggae and not pose a health threat to us all us by flying out of the compartment in heavy weather or God forbid in a steep and rapid descent, i.e. a true air emergency. Or, by disabling our attendants before we get of the ground.
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Jul 17th 2008 @ 4:26PM
jim said...
You'd think these flying waiters were doing stem cell research. They are in the service industry whether they like it or not so put my bag up in that compartment or get another job.
Jul 18th 2008 @ 2:18AM
Laurie said...
Hey Jim, those 'flying waiters' as you called them are not there to hold your hand. The only reason they are there is because of the FAA and safety. As long as they are there, they also assist you in finding your seat, a place for your bag, sitting with your child, bringing you a drink, or whatever the case may be. Their requirements, per the FAA, are for safety issues. If you can't seem to get your own bag in the overhead compartment, then check it when you enter the airport. Problem solved.
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Jul 18th 2008 @ 11:09AM
Bob Galloway said...
Hey, Jim-boy....quit being a parasitic helpless whining boob and help yourself once in a while - or get another way to travel (preferably ALONE.) It's jackasses like you that make me hate flying, not the airlines or their people!
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Jul 18th 2008 @ 12:40PM
joni said...
Hey Jim,
Those "flying waiters" got their throats cuts for jackasses like yourself on 9/11. Pray that you are never on my flight, and yes i am an FAA flight attendant.
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Jul 19th 2008 @ 8:43PM
Perry Allotta said...
I don't care what people say, I find the board personnel, nice, courteouse always, in any ariline.
Sorry lady, I don't believe you...
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Jul 19th 2008 @ 9:23PM
SALLY said...
I, was flying from Detroit Metro. to Dallas DFW when the Airline Flight Attendant announced to me quietly that because I sat beside the exit door it was my responsibility to open the door put out the slide and help the other passengers out. My look told her she was in a dream world and that was her job. So I told her to be there when the time comes otherwise if I have to do that then rest assure that I will be out that door and down that slide first taking off my spike heels and panty hose as I slide down to safety. I, received a very nasty look and I feel that was her job and she was getting paid to take care of us. What else does she do?? Serve a drink and put a bottle in her purse as other flights I have seen that happen OFTENNNNNN!!
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Jul 24th 2008 @ 11:01AM
Linda said...
Jim, I am handicap. I only hope I am sitted far enough away from you and your attitude so as not to do me and mine any harm. Being a airline worker either on the ground or in the air is a difficult and danerous job. Why so stubborn? What is your true problem. Is flying not difficult enough these days? Please check your ego and outdated opinons at the desk and gate. Today's flying experience requires that we all must look out for one and other so that ALL flights are safe. Pray that the innocent do not suffer your mascline ego. Yes, many years ago I was in a fatal air crash with my family. We survived others did not. One random kindness saved many lives. Promise me you may have the courage to begin a practical and so little effort as to check your over sized baggage. Is the Lives of your fellow passengers worth the risk? Are you that selfish?
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Jul 19th 2008 @ 9:31PM
SALLY said...
Sorry Linda but your attitude is too self serving and your "pity me" sucks.
Aug 6th 2008 @ 1:33AM
SCOTT said...
Aloha from Hawaii, I am curious about something. I recently flew Japan Airlines from Kona to Bangkok via Tokyo and after the seatbelt signs were off the flight attendants stood up and bowed and said "we are here to serve you" and you bet they did. I have NEVER received this type of attention to detail and pleasant, "happy to be there" type of attitude. I used to work for United and flew first class many times and did not receive this type of great service as Japan airlines economy class. Why in the USA do we have this problem that "we are NOT here to serve you? I also experienced this great service on Qantas. Maybe if just one US airline focused on service they might start something?
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Aug 16th 2008 @ 6:16PM
Kim said...
Hey Jim,
Im one of those "flying waiters"... Jim, how many times have you at your job had to do CPR on a child, or used the Defib to restart someone's heart??
Does your work day start out with a briefing of the current terrorist threat level, and how many guns are on board the aircraft (pilots, air marshalls, etc) I am wondering if you are issued flexi cuffs at your cubicle at work so you can subdue crazy people?
We do much more than serve drinks. It is not our responsibility to lift your bag!!! How in the heck did you get it from your house to the car, then out of the car to the airport, then lift it up on the screening belt and back again? Did you ask various people along the way?? Jim if you bring it YOU sling it! I can guarantee you if I touch that bag, I will tag that bag! You are the type of selfish passenger that makes the whole flying experience a big bummer for the flight attendants and passengers around you!!
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Aug 26th 2008 @ 9:21AM
jenja@aol.com said...
If a woman stills wears pantyhose in this day and age, she has bigger problems then leg burns.
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Sep 9th 2008 @ 7:52AM
ANNIE said...
Sally has a problem - actually, a few problems, cynicism being one of them. Ignorance is another, so let me change that.
Each Flight Attendant is responsible for a main door in an emergency. When we used to have enought F/A's, there could be a F/A at the window exit, but now that we are flying with minimum crews, it's not possible. We are not superwomen, able to be in 2 places at once. You, as a passenger, are given the option of taking the responsibility (and sitting in the roomier and more comfortable exit row) or changing seats. When you refused that responsibility, the F/A should have made you move. I would have. The airline tells me to do that, it's not my choice. Sally, you're selfish and self-centered. We do not say things like this to hear the sound of our own voices, nor to be abused by you. If you had any maturity at all, you would understand that. Yes, I'm there to serve you drinks. No, I don't put "bottles in (my) bag". I also get to make serious and life-saving decisions on a regular basis. Please God you are never in a situation where you will have to look to one of us to save YOUR life. It would change your outlook.
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Nov 6th 2008 @ 6:35PM
AnitaAD said...
The way I heard it------the pantyhose completely disintegrate why going down the chute. Haven't had the experience, thank goodness!!!
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