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The Southwest Airlines Stripper Plane
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Every Friday evening, some time before most people have clocked out of work and begin heading home for the weekend, a plane takes off from LAX. Like so many other flights at this time, this one is also heading to Las Vegas. It's not full of gamblers, however, but rather a disproportionate amount of silicone that bounces and jiggles through the warm, desert-air turbulence all the way to Vegas where, for the remainder of Friday and Saturday night, it will continue quivering away at $20 a pop.
This, folks, is the Southwest Stripper Plane.
The passengers are LA's greatest temporary export, heading off for a weekend of singles and 20s to help baby pay the rent. They are blessed with the sun-kissed glory of Southern California and enhanced by the world's greatest plastic surgeons, and of course every single one is a struggling teacher, college student, or some other admirable profession that will keep suckers reaching into their wallet time after time to help out their worthy cause, whatever it might be.
No one really knows what time this legendary, perhaps even mythical flight leaves Los Angeles. Seats are reserved months in advance and few mere mortals are able to secure a reservation. A friend of mine claims he once found himself on this flight but can't seem to remember the details, as though some powerful force scrubbed his brain clean, leaving only a trace of glitter on his sweaty forehead.
Others less fortunate can only dream that the planets align one day and that they find themselves sitting on a plane in Los Angeles watching their fellow passengers squeeze their gigantic moneymakers into Southwest's cramped economy seats. If there was ever a time for long delays or a casualty-free crash on a desert island, this would certainly be it.
Remember Kyla Ebbert, the girl Southwest imposed a dress code on?
Gallery: Kyla Ebbert in Pictures
Filed under: Airlines
Reader Comments (Page 3 of 3)
JOE Jan 17th 2008 5:00PM
ALL I WANT TO DO IS JOIN THE MILE HIGH CLUB WITH ONE OF THOSE LOVELY LADIES. PRICELESS!
Bill Shoulders Jan 17th 2008 5:26PM
Will Rockford Illinois ever have these flights out of the Greater Chicago/Rockford International Airport?
We could take all the hookers on Seventh Street and put them on this plane...but wait...then the Rockford Police would not have anything to do...hum...at least they would not have to worry about overtime and Chet could get a break from the Union.
Bruce Held Jan 17th 2008 5:30PM
Is prostitution still illegal if it occurs in mid-air? Next I'll be hearing about massage parlor flights. Just what the world needs,a flying brothel !
Big D Jan 17th 2008 5:38PM
It's true, 90%+ of all stippers are either lesibians or someone's old lady working to help support the family. The others are just big teasers using their bodies to make easy money with no interest in the men they consider suckers. My advise to all men is to keep your twenty dollar bills in your pocket and stay out of the rip off strip clubs.
doc Jan 18th 2008 11:39AM
ok, so a bunch of strippers fly from LA to vegas every friday, this is news? who cares?
gamora May 3rd 2008 9:48AM
#32 -- Thank YOU Doc!!! My sentiments exactly. So what?!! Tell me something I don't know...
joe Jan 17th 2008 6:48PM
and you might want to consider how eternally out dated your thinking is
gerard pawling Jan 17th 2008 6:54PM
flown out of bradley international (CT) many times and have never had the opportunity to engage in such a presentation. are their plans in the works for some haggard CT drones?
Allison Jan 17th 2008 7:24PM
I work a fully-clothed job at a gentleman's club in Las Vegas, and while many of the entertainers are from CA, they're actually from all over the world. I have girls that come in from Utah, Alaska, Moscow, Thailand, New Zealand, and anywhere else you can imagine. There is no specific flight, airline, or really, even a specific time frame during which the girls commute. They come when it is convenient for them, and when they want money. Obviously, when there is a big event in town, more girls will come because there is a higher demand and more money. However, clubs do not "hire more girls from out of town" as one poster mentioned. Strippers in Vegas are licensed independent contractors who PAY THE CLUBS to let them work. The clubs have the power to deny them working priveleges, tell them which shifts they are welcomed to work, and fire them if they get out of line, but they don't hire them in the sense that girls are told to be there at a certain time, stay a certain amount of time, and be there definitively for any specific day.
sv Jan 17th 2008 7:24PM
What really surprises me is how something like this ill get certain, if not most men (and I suppose gay women) out there, with their tongues hanging just a chance to see some "T's and A". You act like you've never seen 'em before. I guess this is what they count on. Some fool(s) out there, can't wait to dish out $$ cause they have NEVER seen this before and never will again?. How pathetic. But at the same time, I have to admit, that if a woman can get you to part with your $$ just for that reason, you got it coming to you BIG time and then I have to say, you GO girl. Men always think with their D I C K S and some things never change.
Angel Jan 17th 2008 7:32PM
Is anyone surprised that most of the bitter comments are from females ?? Maybe they're the wives of said husbands who search out these types of flights. Grow up and get some therepy ladies ... cattiness and jealousy are not cute.
Stripperoo Jan 18th 2008 1:36AM
OMG, relax with all the mean spirited stripper comments!! I used to strip at the Rhino in LA, and yes, my friends and I did go to Vegas to work on occasion. I am sooo tired of all the misconceptions about strippers. Yeah, there are a lot of shady ones who use drugs and will go home with you for the right price. But there are some normal women who also happen to strip (but they are outnumbered by the crazy "whore-in-disguise" strippers). I hate to break it to you angry cynical men, but there are strippers who go to college. There are strippers who have graduated from college only to get a stupid underpaid job so they need to supplement their income. I always used to get frustrated with guys who would assume that I was a crazy party girl who sleeps around. In actuality I've never even so much as smoked a cigarette and I've only slept with 3 people in my whole life. If you were a pretty single girl who likes to dance and is comfortable with your body, you'd probably be a stripper too. It's very nice to be able to live on your own and be able to go to work for one night and make enough money to pay your rent. And I think it's smarter to pay your tuition by stripping than to take out a bunch of loans and get your ass in hock so you can graduate, get some entry level job that pays so little you can't even afford to pay off your loan. I don't know, I'm not saying it's a perfect career choice for everyone. I just think life is difficult, we're all doing the best we can with what we have and we need to settle down and stop hating each other so much.
Phil Feb 16th 2009 3:03PM
I absolutely agree. I have met many "dancers" and have dated a couple also. Most men are idiots that walk into these clubs. They think if the girl smiles at them, they like them as the moron is handing her a $20 bill!! Most of my friends had kids or just wanted a high-paying job, none of them did drugs. Of course there are the drug users, but there are also lawyers who do masses of cocaine and women of all ages and all types of jobs that do drugs, not just strippers!!
the devil Jan 18th 2008 10:20AM
"but rather a disproportionate amount of silicon that bounces and jiggles"
So, they're robot strippers? You see, silicon is what they use to make electronic components (integrated circuits, transistors) out of. I think you mean silicone, which is used to make insulation for windows and breast implants.
Avalon Jan 18th 2008 3:56PM
I'm one of those traveling entertainers, but out of Phoenix. Big D you're assumption is 100% wrong. SubsistenceStrippers are a minority of my co workers. I used dancing to pay for graduate school, and decided to pursue it full time when my job as an elementary school teacher required more 4x more hours for 1/4 of the pay. I don't think my clients are suckers, in fact I have developed friendships with them over the years. Working at night gives me plenty of free time during the day to trade the stock market and work on foreclosure deals. I blog about what it is REALLY like to be a SuperStripper at http://blog.myspace.com/azavalon
C-Daddy Jan 18th 2008 9:02PM
Hey gang...this is for real. It used to be my regular weekend run as a pilot for SWA. They were...well, you know what I mean.