Big in Japan: Fuzzy breasts are big in Japan

With the Christmas shopping season right around the corner, everyone is starting to wonder what this year’s must have toy will be.

Like past greats such as the Cabbage Patch Kids, Tickle me Elmo and Nintendo Wii, it takes a truly special toy to drive yearning kids and their ever-pleasing parents into a consumer frenzy.

Care to guess what the hottest toy in Japan is likely to be this holiday season?

(Hint: no, it’s not a robot. We’re talking about something that is cute, cuddly and slightly pornographic in the kinderwhore fashion.)

Give up? I give you Funwari Milk-chan (??????????????????????), the latest, greatest Japanese craze.

Now, although the verdict is still out on just what exactly this thing is, my initial guess is that it’s some sort of fuzzy breast-shaped plush toy.

What do you exactly do with it? I have no idea.

(And no, to the best of my knowledge it’s not intended to be used as a sex toy).

What makes this fuzzy breast so strange however is that the toy manufacture, JUN Planning, has created an elaborate back story in the hope of justifying its existence.

Allow me to explain:

Once upon a time, there was a place known as Milk Village, which was created by the ancient volcanic eruption of Mt. Milk. The residents of Milk Village, which are known as Milk-chans, speak the Milk language, live in Milk houses and raise little Milk babies.

Are you with me so far? Don’t worry if you’re confused – so am I!

Milk Village is marked by four distinct seasons, which the Milk-chans love to celebrate in the Japanese fashion. In the spring, they eat rice dumplings and watch the cherry blossoms. In the summer, they eat rice dumplings and go to the Milk beach. In the fall, they eat rice dumplings and watch the leaves change. In the winter, they eat rice dumplings and live in milk caves.

Are you with me so far? I’m not sure if I understand myself at this point!

Apparently, each of the Milk-chans has a unique personality and history.

Funwari Milk-chan (center) is relaxed and playful, though she dreams of one day being a larger breast. Can Milk-chan (top left) is the party girl in the group, which is why she decided to be naughty and have an American boyfriend.

Ganguro Milk-chan (bottom left) has a pierced nipple, loves partying, dancing and taking pictures with her friends. Peach Milk-chan (top right) loves fashion, and is something of a snob in Milk Village. Milko-chan (bottom right) is still a baby, but a baby genius at that.

A Milk-chan sell for about 1,000 yen or about US$9, which means that I fully intend to collect the full set, even though I have no idea what you’re supposed to do with them!

Special thanks to my friend Michele for always keeping an eye out for the latest and craziest Japanese trends!

** Photos were taken from www.junplanning.co.jp **