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7 gravest threats facing America, according to GQ (It's not Capri pants)
I admit it. I actually got the 50 Anniversary Issue of GQ with the big "50 Most Stylish Men of the past 50 years" title on the cover. The cover page comes in 10 mutations, ranging from Michael Jordan to JFK. I got Johnny Depp because he lives in France...and that's how this is all related to travel, in case you were wondering. (I also got it because Johnny Depp is, you know, Johnny Depp.)
Here is what Gentlemen's Quarterly thinks the Gravest Threats to America are:
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The Media ("I like my truth like my coffee: black or white. Shades of gray are for brain tissue and for the weak. neither has a place in the News Business.")
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Immigrants ("Yes, Virginia, there is a right kind of foreigner. The kind who comes to America, loses his brogue, and creates US Steel")
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Divorce ("Walk it off. Work it out. Thirty day return policy and then no exchanges.")
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The Homosexual Agenda ("I am perfectly fine with someone being gay as long as he marries a woman and has kids like the rest of us.")
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Race ("The worst thing about affirmative action is that it encourages reverse discrimination, so-called because it goes in the opposite way of how we naturally discriminate.")
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Religion ("America is a Christian nation...Think of Judeo-Christian values like 'Sears, Roebuck and Co.' Judaism is Roebuck.")
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Evolution ("Just because Darwin was a sick twist with a God Complex doesn't mean you have to buy into this power trip.")
Yes, I know what you are thinking. Although funny, it is ignorant and oversimplified. At the same time, these seven points nicely sum up what America doesn't want the rest of the world to know about America, don't they?
Filed under: Arts and Culture, Business, Stories, North America, United States













Reader Comments (Page 1 of 1)
jon Oct 22nd 2007 12:56PM
Americans and religion are fascinating, esp. when contrasted against England.
The US was built as a secular country, not a christian one - that's why seperation of church and state are so important - the drafters of the US constition knew what religion could do in influencing a government, causing wars, and all the less than good things it had caused in Europe.
Whereas here in England, we are specifically a christian country. The Queen is head of the church - coins have F.D. around her image 'defender of the faith'. And we're full of athiests - almost completely secular.
Weird.
Kevin Beane Oct 22nd 2007 1:33PM
Ignorant and oversimplified? I would seriously hope that is nothing more than a straight satire of conservative values, God help us if the author was even a tiny bit "serious."
Bob Oct 22nd 2007 1:35PM
I haven't bought a copy of GQ for about two decades. Thanks for reminding me why.
Adam Oct 22nd 2007 2:26PM
Wow, GQ hit it right on the head with that list. I might have to buy that now.
Thanks, Gadling
Darkling Oct 26th 2007 4:43PM
Please tell me the author was kidding.
James Oct 23rd 2007 10:29PM
Sounds like GQ is plagiarising Stephen Colbert's "Book I am America and so can you". Some of these are almost word for word.
Stephanie Oct 25th 2007 9:43PM
I agree.. there is no way any sane person could write this with seriousness
luvmyexplorer1 Oct 27th 2007 11:53AM
And to think they actually do have paying jobs for the young dumb minds in America. Pretty sad.