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10 Drinks Men Should Not Order
I'm always a little dubious when someone deigns to tell me what is and what is NOT allowed when it comes to male behavior. I occasionally read magazines like Details and when I come to the "Clothes a man should never wear" articles, I always find a few things from my own closet right there on the page. Keeping up with what's in style costs too damn much money. Besides, yesterday's faux pas is today's hip new thing. But I do have to agree somewhat with a few of the drinks listed in this fun slide show admonishing males over what should NOT be ordered and consumed among alcoholic beverages.
To wit: anything blended, unless you're on the beach. In other words, fruity drinks with little umbrellas or massive hunks of fruit tipping off of them: a no-no. I buy this. Sugary drinks like Mai Tais are just not very masculine. You're not having dessert for goodness sakes, you're getting hammered with friends! Beer is bitter and wine is sour and scotch packs a punch for a reason. You're supposed to suffer just a small amount for the sinful indulgence of drinking them.
If it's all sugary and yum-yum, you'll drink all the time. And you'll not only become a drunkard, you'll be a fat drunkard from all that sugar. Or so goes my own concocted explanation for why I don't order sugary drinks. Alas, you may find a Pina Colada nice and fulfilling. So go ahead and order one. And have a nice little plate of quiche while you're at it.
Filed under: Food and Drink
Reader Comments (Page 5 of 18)
Corporate Man Aug 8th 2007 1:04PM
I like quiche!!
Greg Aug 10th 2007 2:43PM
its a new day now! men can wear pink and not be gay, they could go to the nail salon and get thier nails done, or even drink Mai Tai and still be masculine! I dont believe your arguement is true. I do believe that you like to streotype men to be a certain way... but, the world is not like that! Men should drink whatever they want, even if its a fruity drink or beer, as long as they are safe with it! let me know what u thik!!!
jjjoy Aug 8th 2007 11:27AM
WITH OUR KIDS BECOMING ALCOHOLICS AT 10 YEARS OLD....
WE BETTER START TALKING ABOUT EVERYONE...MAN OR WOMAN
QUITTING DRINKING. IT'S AN EPIDEMIC.
alex Aug 8th 2007 11:30AM
pink is gangsta..Dipset Byrd Gang... -=)
Melanie Aug 8th 2007 10:32PM
Fianlly, the truth is out!! Thanks for the laugh!!! I've been saying the same thing for many years and it so great to hear it from a male!! After 30 years of bartending, it just cracks me up when a man sips his little frou frou drinks all night. And to all those out there who want to drink them, it's your choice. As for me, I am a purist, don't hide the flavor or fragrance of a quality liquor with anything, a bit of water if you must. Besides if you are ordering a scotch and water, for example, it's easy to see if you're getting a short shot. I have served frou frou drinks to guys all night long, with little or no booze in them and they never knew the difference and still got drunk, or at least thought themselves into drunk and sick to boot!
roflmaool!!!!
E. Renard Aug 12th 2007 10:31AM
What a ridiculous list. It astounds me, how fragile the egos of some "straight" men are. Ladies, if you're interested in ferreting out the closeted homosexual or bisexual, and you meet a guy with these kind of inane issues - BINGO. A secure, straight man will be the one wearing a rose colored shirt - and savoring one of the ten proscribed drinks.
Frank Miller Aug 8th 2007 12:12PM
What is a man? But a state of mind and what God has instilled in his heart and soul. Tell me honestly how serious the situation is that you can tell a man what he can have and what he shouldn't have.There is no obstacle when he makes up his mind when he has been in war and when he help in Katrina to wrap this up I will drink any type of mix drink non mix and wear any color that please me end of story.
MyLz Aug 8th 2007 11:39AM
Real men do what they want!
Mike Aug 8th 2007 11:42AM
I agree with Patrick O'Page, a martini tastes like it was just used to clean a musket.
danielle Aug 9th 2007 1:43AM
its just supposed to be funny........
Gizmologist Aug 9th 2007 5:24AM
Boy I must really be confusing to some folks then. I am 6' 1" 350 lbs and I drink light beer, wine, and love peach, butterscotch, and hot damn schnapps. I also can slam down a 42 oz steak along with a salad, appetizer, and dessert. I also like pink and purple, I adore women in retro foo foo dresses and I am an electrician working with 480 volts. So is my masculinity set by the sweet content of my drinks? I think not. Anyone with a such a silly concept of masculinity measurement as preferences for sweet drinks wanna try my job? Betcha don't!
Lex Aug 13th 2007 12:36AM
Real Men Wear Jewelry.http://beowulfjewelryshop.comPirate,
Skull, Viking Jewelry and much more.Lex
Steve Aug 10th 2007 11:36AM
Isn't it a bit early to be discussing drinks? What's wrong with bitter?
Alonzo Aug 8th 2007 12:01PM
To the lady who WHINED about a guy ordering a 'white Zen' and making her 'split the check' wake up and SMELL THE NEW MILLENIUM !!!
I thought that's what SEXUAL EQUALITY and WOMEN'S LIB was all about ! Yes, a GUY can drink White Zen (Personally, I prefer a Dark Ale myself, but have had White Zen occasionally on dates).
If you dumped the guy for the reasons you stated, maybe you should be dating JOHN WAYNE or the Marlboro Man (if either of them are still alive).
Nancy Aug 8th 2007 12:19PM
Does it really matter what someone drinks...it's all how you handle it. My daughter just went on a first date with a guy who had 2 long island ice teas, 2 rum runners and 2 bahama mama's (excuse me if I spelled anything wrong since I'm not familiar with these drinks). He became loud, obnoxious and couldn't even walk so she helped him out of the restaurant and took his keys so he wouldn't kill them or some other innocent person. Not to mention that he cried at the table and she felt like the character in "Must Love Dogs" if anyone is familiar with that movie. He could have had foo foo drinks as people refer to them or beer, wine etc. etc. He abused the drinking so did it really matter what he drank. He made a total ass out of himself either way....so in conclusion I would say it doesn't matter what anyone drinks. Maturity and responsiblity are the keys!!!!
Vivi Aug 9th 2007 2:40AM
Can't a man drink whatever he pleases without being thought of as a man or a woman?
sara Aug 8th 2007 12:22PM
This is ridiculous! Now wonder we have problems in society. Manhood appears to be inherently fragile, except for the few. If masculinity is so threatened that men freak out by certain colors or can't eat quiche or have a certain drink, then they have a complex. They aren't secure in their gender identity. Why not just focus on being a good person? Why is manhood so fragile that it always has to be proved?
Linda Aug 8th 2007 12:22PM
I LOVE A MAN WHO CAN WEAR PINK.... AND WEARS IT WELL!
NOT ALL MEN WEAR IT WELL... LOVE PINK SHIRTS AND GREY TIES... VERY SEXY, CONFIDENT ETC ETC. AND IF THERE IS AN AWESOME MASCULINE COLOGNE SCENT PASSING BY MY NOSTRILS... SO MUCH THE BETTER.
FRANKLY I DON'T CARE WHAT YOU DRINK..
GO PINK!
Franks Aug 8th 2007 12:48PM
I can't believe what I am reading here. Guys who order girl dinks all the time are gross. How do you expect a women to feel like you would take a bullet for her if you can't even handel the taste of alcohol. Loving the taste of men drinks, a.k.a the harder stuff or beer, shows a certain level of dedication. Pushing through the pain, or not taking the easy road are things a us women like to see from our men. Not some guy wincing because he got brain freeze. Not that this will decide our opinion of you, but if your falling behind in the polls every image point counts.
Gary Fox Aug 8th 2007 6:32PM
I drink my sangria with a straw, and it can never have too many fruity garnishes. I never worry about masc/fem inferences - but I suspect the author of this list does. Oh, and I don't mind a slice of quiche either. Married, two kids and so not confused!