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10 Drinks Men Should Not Order
I'm always a little dubious when someone deigns to tell me what is and what is NOT allowed when it comes to male behavior. I occasionally read magazines like Details and when I come to the "Clothes a man should never wear" articles, I always find a few things from my own closet right there on the page. Keeping up with what's in style costs too damn much money. Besides, yesterday's faux pas is today's hip new thing. But I do have to agree somewhat with a few of the drinks listed in this fun slide show admonishing males over what should NOT be ordered and consumed among alcoholic beverages.
To wit: anything blended, unless you're on the beach. In other words, fruity drinks with little umbrellas or massive hunks of fruit tipping off of them: a no-no. I buy this. Sugary drinks like Mai Tais are just not very masculine. You're not having dessert for goodness sakes, you're getting hammered with friends! Beer is bitter and wine is sour and scotch packs a punch for a reason. You're supposed to suffer just a small amount for the sinful indulgence of drinking them.
If it's all sugary and yum-yum, you'll drink all the time. And you'll not only become a drunkard, you'll be a fat drunkard from all that sugar. Or so goes my own concocted explanation for why I don't order sugary drinks. Alas, you may find a Pina Colada nice and fulfilling. So go ahead and order one. And have a nice little plate of quiche while you're at it.
Filed under: Food and Drink
Reader Comments (Page 2 of 18)
Al Aug 8th 2007 8:14AM
Normally Yes, Men work better with Beer or Some kind of Liquor on the Rocks OR with Water/Splash.
BUT, Nothing like a Mia Tai, in a Pinnaple, on the beach in Cancun ! Or the swim up bar !
Differnt buzz than u are normally used to, but then again, your at the beach damnit !
mary Aug 8th 2007 8:33AM
I Love the look on waitstaffs faces when my 6'6" 350lb tattooed,long-hair biker husband orders a frozen strawberry daquari.
adam Aug 8th 2007 8:34AM
Are you people kidding me. No seriously are you kidding me. Wear pink, eat pink, Smack that poot. Then reach for that pina colada to wash her down. Listen in this world there is strait, homosexual, or bi, all of which is not influenced by what you drink. GET A LIIIIIFE. thank you.
Lee Aug 8th 2007 8:37AM
This is absurd. I am 6'5 46 years old and I my favorite is a Black Russian. They are sweet and I like it that way. I sometimes like a beer and once in a while I will drink a frozen drink or a mudslide. Now if you can drink a frozen drink at the beach how does that make you less manly than drinking them somewhere else? Drink what you want and stop looking in my bedroom window so what if I like men.
photophemme Aug 8th 2007 8:41AM
I am a woman with 12 years of bartending experience. FIRST: ANY man who orders a sugary drink is immediately carded to make sure some child has not crawled into the bar.
SECOND: Anyone who orders a sugary dink on dry land is questionable to most drinkers. If you are going to drink than drink, don't mess around with silly ice cream or sugary drinks!
THIRD There is a reason some brands are expensive and considered "fine" and no one who appreciates the finer things in life is going to ruin good alcohol with sugary syrup, ice cream or silly combinations.
Drink like a woman or drink like a man, but drink with style!!!
P.S. It is about 10 years ago soooo yesterday to proclaim assurance of your sexuality by ordering silly drinks. Besides good taste and class always rule!
Jesse Aug 8th 2007 8:42AM
I drink all sorts of drinks, depending upon what time of day it is and where I am drinking. Sometimes, like during the day, an Old Fashioned is right. With lunch - non business, a Bacardi Cocktail is my choice. Evening - just drinking, Meyer's Rum and coke. Dinner - fancy with friends, Vodka Martini or Mellon Martini (1/2 vodka, 1/2 gin) deathly dry.
I'm not a beer drinker and I really do not care for wine so I only drink it when I do not want to drink, just to be social. Not big on sweet, fru fru drinks, but I will drink them if appropriate ~ like in Hawaii or on a cruise or at the beach in Cancun. No big deal - and I wear pink polo's, too, right with Ralph.
Jamie Aug 8th 2007 8:46AM
Re: MaiTai's. There's a famous bar in Sarasota,FL -The Bahai Hut (it's even mentioned by the "History of Florida"-loving fictional psychopath Serge Storms in Tim Dorsey's book, Hurricane Punch) - which limits a person's consumption of the aforementioned MaiTai's to two (2). They are sweet & fruity and they are deadly. Love Em. If you're in the Sunshine State it's worth the drive to try one -- Hey have fun and drink the two allowed. :)
csmith Aug 8th 2007 8:46AM
My 6'3,270lb , tatooed, shaved head hubby drinks whatever he damn well pleases and I'm pretty certian that you wouldn't have the balls to question him about it. I'll just bet some manly man out there knows atleast 10 ways to kill you with that little umbrella!!!
willie Aug 8th 2007 8:47AM
If anyone out there needs a reason to NOT drink
something, then DON'T drink water. Reason.....
fish **** in it !!! That is, of course, unless
you're a REAL man then, go ahead, knock yourself
out.
Joseph Aug 8th 2007 8:53AM
#1 You really can't call your self a man if you drink what you think makes you like a man..get some b-lls i drink want and one nite i may want a jack black on the rocks ,next maybe a mai tai you have idenity problems don't you..Grow up
BD Aug 8th 2007 8:56AM
Please...get me a scotch...RIGHT NOW!
Willie Butler, Jr Aug 8th 2007 8:57AM
A man suppose to drink straight on the rocks . If he cannot drink on the straight on the rocks. He have no business drinking at all.
Laura Aug 8th 2007 8:59AM
I'm drinking rum from the bottle right now! I wish I had a fruity drink though. LMFAO!!!
Yeah, life is too short to worry about who drinks what, etc. Mojito away men!
roy Aug 8th 2007 9:12AM
I don't drink and never have, this isan't the only life you will live you know at least you should know because the bible say's the soul never dies and will spend the next life in one of the only tow we have a choise to go to. i have made plans to spend my next life in a place called heaven, and according to the Bible we wont need a drink for any reason. and if you go to the other place you will need all the drinks and sex you can get ,but there will be nothing to drink or girls to have sex with, so go on and have all the drinks you want and have all the sex you can because this is ( your heaven right here) you will be burning in hell and and this will be forever and firver think about it but you have time right now to make plans to go to the other place called heaven. if you want to know more e mail me please i would like to talk to you.avengern1@aol.com roy.
Jesse Aug 8th 2007 9:17AM
Hey, Patty O'Page! It's just the FIRST martini that's a bit difficult to take. After the first one, when your lips and teeth begin to numb, it's easy to slip them down - and deadly, too! Have them durty and with a twist and olives to muddle it all up and it's not so bad. After two, you will actually like them - much better than just scotch on the rocks or with branch! Try it.
Jesse Aug 8th 2007 9:25AM
21. When I see a dude wearing pink, I automatically think "douche-bag". And I'm right 100% of the time.
Posted at 8:12AM on Aug 8th 2007 by Ben
BEN,
All I can say is you are an idiot!
Katie Aug 8th 2007 9:30AM
As an independent female I hate sterio-typing.BUT !!!I wish had only paid more attention to the "unbrella drinks" my then "boyfriend" now exhushand drank. I think drink preferences like clothes or food reflect
a persons nature. He was a weak, selfish person who had no spine. He let me handle the house problems, the care of the yard, pay bills,all the house chores while he goofed off. I'll take a guy who drinks scotch.
rich Aug 8th 2007 9:32AM
Thats the problem with this country- there is no masculinity left- it was all left in your Daddy's shorts. Keep drinking your Susie drinks,wearing pink and strolling on the beach with your purple grape smugglers- me, I'll stick to being a man. Enjoy your whipped cream you sissys.
Linda Aug 8th 2007 9:34AM
Honestly I never give it a second thought about what a man orders or a woman for that matter. I am usually just happy to have the company because it is usually someone that I want to spend time with.
J-ROCK Aug 8th 2007 9:38AM
YEP I'M SO GLAD TO SEE THAT SOME OF US STILL KNOW HOW TO THINK FOR OUR SELVES AND NOT ALLOW OTHER'S TO FORCE THERE LITTLE SILLY WAY'S ON EVERYONE ELSE, I DRINK FROM TIME TO TIME AND I ASSURE YOU I WILL DRINK WHAT EVER I WANT NO MATTER WHO DO NOT LIKE IT, AND I WILL WEAR MY PINK ARTICLES OF CLOTHING UNTIL I CHOOSE NOT TO ANYMORE!!!! GROW UP AND GET A LIFE!