Even with a tent, the concrete won't be soft. You most definitely need a camping mattress. The Therm-A-Rest is "a lightweight blowup mattress which is perfect for backpacking. It is less than an inch thick but somehow manages to absorb the painful ground so that you don't have to." And if that's too wimpy for you, try the Aero Sport All-Terrain Raised Bed with Dual Power Pump, "the Cadillac of such mattresses."

Never again will you have to rely on your line neighbor to save your spot on bathroom breaks. Bring along the best portable toilet money can by, the BioToi. "Hygienic and environmentally friendly, each BioToi system comes with a roll of Bio-Bag waste bags, which are 100% biodegradable and 100% compostable. To use the system, simply thread the bags around the rim of the toilet seat, and do your business. When you're finished, tie off the bag and pack it out. Each bag is certified to decompose to a humus state within 40 days when placed in a controlled compost environment."

I know you probably won't be showering, but please try to brush your teeth a few times. Prepasted toothbrushes are the way to go, and the ReadyBrush is your best bet. "All you need to do is wet the bristles and the [built in] toothpaste is activated." Genius!

You need to eat, so why not cook it yourself? The WoodGas camp stove -- a revolution in outdoor cooking -- "uses 90% less fuel than ordinary stoves; and burns almost any plant-based fuel." Or you could bring along the Wavebox, a "rugged, portable lunchbox that's also a microwave." You can either plug this into a standard outlet, clip it onto a car battery, or plug it into a cigarette lighter. Still too much for you? Bring along a self-heating dinner. "These package meals come with a nifty button that automatically heats up the meal in ten minutes when pressed. And they don't need to be refrigerated." Don't forget the frozen drinks! Whip up a quick margarita with the Daiquiri Whacker, a portable, gas-powered blender. Be careful though -- local laws may keep you from having an open container of alcohol in public. (Get the booze-holding sandal instead!)

Safety is important. You don't want your precious credit card to go missing after spending days in line, so keep it in a TravelSafe pouch. "Featuring a slashproof skin and a high-tensile stainless steel cable with a padlock that cinches tight, the TravelSafe can be locked to pretty much anything." Once you finally get your paws on the iPhone, attach an Xscream to the box. "This carabiner-like device is really nothing more than a portable yell-box. It clips easily on a purse or backpacker and when danger approaches one simply presses the button and out comes a 120-decibel scream. This will either frighten the thief off, or irritate him so badly he will beat you until you start screaming equally as loud." If you're bringing along a laptop (and I know you are), try stashing your credit cards and cash in the Stashcard, a safe that slides into an open PCMCIA/PC Card slot.

Am I missing anything?

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