Skip to Content

Click on a label to read posts from that part of the world.

Map of the world

How To Use A Squat Toilet

squatToday, of course, I'm a wizard of wandering; a master of motility; a gettin'-around guru. But it wasn't always so.

When I first arrived in Zambia for my stint in the Peace Corps, I was immediately carted off to a village called Kapepa. There, I lived with a homestay family for a week. I had my own mud house, my own thatch bathing shelter, and my own pit latrine. I'll be honest (and delicate): while I had no problems using the latrine to urinate, I had a real issue with going Number Two. My issue was so big, in fact, that I didn't go Number Two for an entire week.

An entire week is a long time NOT to go Number Two.

One afternoon shortly after finishing homestay, we trainees were visiting the city of Kitwe. Sitting in a mini-bus, I'll never forget the look on my friend's face, when a week's worth of starch finally came rolling downhill, screaming to be let out. "You don't look so good," my friend said to me. As her face floated in soft arcs in front of my pudgy, ashen face, I turned to the driver and screeched, "Where's the nearest toilet?!" He pointed. I bolted. There, in that filthy hovel of a slimy little pooper, with the flies buzzing, and literally three squares of tissue remaining, I learned how to do the deed, squatting. Sweet relief never felt so good.

O, how I wish I had read Frank Bures' excellent primer about using a squat pad before I had headed for Africa. It would've made a week's worth of nail biting vanish in a moment. I could've printed out the treatise, studied it -- and then used it for more ignoble purposes. Frank, buddy, where were you when I needed you?

Filed under: Arts and Culture, Stories

Search Travel Deals

Reader Comments (Page 1 of 1)

Add your comments

Please keep your comments relevant to this blog entry. Email addresses are never displayed, but they are required to confirm your comments.

When you enter your name and email address, you'll be sent a link to confirm your comment, and a password. To leave another comment, just use that password.

To create a live link, simply type the URL (including http://) or email address and we will make it a live link for you. You can put up to 3 URLs in your comments. Line breaks and paragraphs are automatically converted — no need to use <p> or <br /> tags.

Gadling Features




Categories

Become our Fan on Facebook!

Gadling on Facebook

Tickets, travel guides, hotels & more

Featured Galleries (view all)

Dim Sum Dialogues: Bangkok
Pueblos of New Mexico
Queenstown, NZ
Dim Sum Dialogues: Kowloon Walled City
Fox Glacier
TranzAlpine Railway
In & Around Auckland
Air New Zealand Matchmaking Flight
Bungle Bungle Range

Sponsored Links

Autoblog Green

Daily Finance

Download Squad

Engadget

Joystiq

Luxist

Switched.com

FanHouse

WoW