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A Canadian In Beijing: Two-Wheeled Matrimony

I've been here for three weeks and I'm pretty sure that yesterday was my first "bad day." Okay, perhaps "bad" is the wrong word for it. I'd have to say that what started as a good day became a low day, a sad day, a frustrating and annoying day. . . a day when I wished I were home and not here. . . for just an hour, perhaps. I could have even found solace in twenty minutes. (They need to invent that transporter device from Star Trek already!)
The air was thick with a mixture of pollution and desert dust and there was a cool wind. Beijing was crying for rain but the tears wouldn't come from the sky. Wind cut through my clothes as I went to fetch my new bike (second-hand – thanks Sarah! – but new to me) so that I could take it out on our honeymoon ride.

I got to the area where the restaurant was supposed to be and this is when my day started to twist and turn. Sometimes I think that people here get a kick out of misdirecting the foreigner. I've been cynical enough to wonder this because it's not the first time that I've been pointed the wrong way by a local and have had to re-trace my steps. My language skills can't be that bad!
This happened three times. It took me a half an hour of navigating several office building parking lots and busy side streets before I was confident that I had the right building. Why was I confident? Because I had asked three different people. I was tired of trusting solitary answers. I started to approach asking directions with skepticism rather than trust. That was probably the place where my day descended: my attitude.

I locked up my bike and I headed inside. (I have since learned that all the bikes are locked here, but often only with this back lock, which is so subtle that I hadn't noticed it before. I also use a second front lock, as per Sarah's suggestion.)

This was both a shopping mall and an office building and it was hard to identify where the shopping began and where the offices ended. Escalators brought me up to the third floor where I was greeted by gaudy wrapped pillars and sparsely designed shopping counters selling a variety of specialty items.

The restaurant was one of the corner suites on this floor. It was beautiful and spacious with wide-open windows that overlooked more courtyards to yet more buildings. The chairs were plush and throne-like and the menu was a hardcover book that looked more like a coffee table book of photography than it did a restaurant menu.
The prices reflected the décor.

Unfortunately, the service did not.
It seems to me that I was disturbing the waitress by being there, even though I was one of only two customers. She spoke so quickly that I couldn't understand her. When I asked her kindly if she would please repeat what she had said more slowly, she actually sped up her speech instead.
Despite this mean-spirited move, I was still able to gather that no food was available as it was between lunch and dinner (about 3:00pm). I then tried to order just a cup of tea, but then certain beverages were also not available and I couldn't ascertain why they weren't and why they were. All in all, everything the waitress said seemed to be unclear and slurred. She rolled her eyes with annoyance when I said I didn't understand. Even her body language conveyed annoyance. After "dealing" with me, she went across the room and complained to her friends and fellow workers who then all turned and stared at me at the same moment.
What was bothering her so much? Was it my presence during an 'off' time'? My lack of proficient Chinese language skills? My affluence in being able to walk into that restaurant at all? (And c'mon, I'm a musician and I had already gathered that I'd only be able to afford some tea and some soup there). Or was it my ragged appearance?
Or maybe she was having a terrible day too and she decided that this "laowai" was an easy target for her bad mood. Really, there's no telling what the reasons were, there's just the response to manage; and mine was one of dejection and frustration.
I ordered an overpriced juice – 20 kuai – and I drank it, looked out the window for about five minutes, and then I left. I felt mistreated and ripped off at the same time, not to mention still hungry and therefore more irritable.

I was undoing the locks on my bike outside when a man approached me and asked me for money. He gestured to the row of bikes and I quickly remembered that sometimes you have to pay to park your bike in this city. Seeing as this was more of a business district, it made sense that someone was responsible for the bikes outside. It's safer that way, especially considering the fact that bike theft is rampant in Beijing.
I asked him how much and he said "wu" or "five" and I was aghast. "Five kuai!" I said in Chinese, "that's way too expensive!" This was the wrong time to overcharge me for something, considering the trouble I'd just had with bad directions coupled with that terrible restaurant experience! My tone was defensive and sharp and I narrowed my eyes at him expecting a fight in my third language.
He looked at me blankly, paused, and then slowly held up a five mao note.
My stony defenses crumbled like a sand castle. I felt so sheepish. Five mao and Five kuai are very different – it's the difference between $0.07 and $0.73 Canadian. I apologized immediately and handed him my five mao. He thanked me and I said "bu keqi" which is the respectful way of saying you're welcome and it means, literally, "don't be so polite" or "no politeness [needed]." I mean, after all, I wasn't polite to him and so why should he be polite to me? I hoped he heard both the literal and the conventional meanings.
So, I had yet another big lesson about carrying forward negative energy. I took on the waitress's negative energy and then passed it on to the parking attendant. I can only hope that it stopped there.

Just before hopping on my bike and heading home to some groceries in my fridge, I heard some music that was being pumped out of a nearby outdoor stage. It was Air Supply: All out of Love. I have a big love-on for Air Supply. They're cheesy and wonderful – lush harmonies and reverb on the drums that goes for days. I know all the words. Total 80's nostalgia.
I got on my bike and rode the whole way back to my dorm room (about fifteen minutes) singing this song at full volume, not caring who heard and who didn't.
And I felt better.
"I'm all out of love / What am I without you? / I can't be too late to say that I was so wrong."
I sang it to my bike.
We're gonna stay married.
Filed under: Arts and Culture, Food and Drink, Blogs, Stories, Asia, China, Foreign Language, A Canadian in Beijing











Reader Comments (Page 1 of 1)
iandanger Apr 24th 2007 4:30AM
Beijing can be like that, but at least its beautiful today!
(I happened to see your post under this: http://www.gadling.com/2007/04/23/underwater-post-offices-and-mailboxes-around-the-world/ which I found via google. Always nice to read stuff from fellow ex-pat beijingers)
Side note: I'm fairly certain there isn't anywhere you can legally marry a bicycle, except possibly dubai.
Nancie Apr 24th 2007 5:48AM
What I've sometimes (well often) found here in Korea is that when you ask for directions the person does not want to admit they don't know. It's a loss of face to them. The end result...bad directions...and can be frustrating.
Sounds like you and your bike are in love!
Have fun.
http://www.360.yahoo.com/bunni56531
Sammy Apr 24th 2007 7:36AM
It is always hard when you have a bad day when you are out of your comfort zone but it does make the good days that much better. I love reading your posts it takes my mind of my own stresses rememeber that next time you have a hard a day.
Safe Travels
Sam xxoo
Lou Apr 24th 2007 8:26AM
Sorry to hear about the "bad" part of your day, Ember (I love how it ended, though). I was going to say "I hope you didn't tip that waitress!" but then I remembered that there's no tipping in China (or maybe just Beijing), right? :-/
Carrie Apr 24th 2007 2:52PM
Ember,
I'm sorry to hear that you had a rough day. I certainly knows what it feels like to want to retreat to a familiar and comforting space. I hope this sort of day will be a rarity for you, as I'm sure it will. By the end of your stay folks will be asking you for directions, I'm sure...
Also, I just wanted to say that I right there with you on loving Air Supply. I always have and always will! :)
Oh, and I'm really enjoying reading your entries here. It is a wonderful insight!
Cheers!
Lauren Apr 24th 2007 9:19AM
I think you were definitely meant to hear Air Supply at that moment in time. It's kind of eerie.
Diane Apr 24th 2007 11:51AM
Hey Ember,
We miss you!sorry we didn't get to see you before you left. Your trip sounds like it has been very interesting so far. I hope it is everything that you hoped for and more!!
Diane, Nigel and Amanada
stephanie porter Apr 24th 2007 11:59AM
hi ember -
it's amazing how not-so-nice people can get you in a funky headspace. when it last happened to me, i came out of it with a broken wrist! i know i could have avoided it with a little air supply! "ooooh, what are you thinkin' of....." glad you and your bike made it back safely and are in it for the long haul!
Jacinthe Apr 24th 2007 12:02PM
Ember,
Sorry to hear about your bad day. I think being food-deprived and lost definitely makes for a so-so experience. I admire your ability to stay focused on the positive things though!
-j.
p.s. If you need a place to stay in Shanghai, the Captain hostel is pretty cheap (abou 10$ Canadian in a dorm room which for Shanghai standards is not bad) and it is quite a good pick location-wise.
Dick Swift Apr 24th 2007 3:37PM
Hey.. we miss you in Wisconsin. Your frequent tidbits of daily doings are fun, indeed. I can tell you that you are a very fine journalistic photographer. Your photos bring color and life to your experiences. How about giving us an update on Lyndell in India? Bet they call her "Lyndia"...
Cheers..
Dick
Bruce Henderson Apr 24th 2007 8:44PM
Hi Ember
Your sister told us about your trip and gave us the link to your blog. We have been reading about your adventures with interest back in Canada. I am glad your day ended on a happy note. Keeping on singing those Air Supply songs. We will continue to visit your blog. Stay safe.
Bruce and Kelly
Bruce Henderson Apr 24th 2007 8:59PM
Hello Ember
Your sister told us of your travels and gave us the link to your blog. We have been reading about your adventures with great interest. I am glad you got a new bike but was sorry to hear about your bad experience at the restaurant. Keep on singing those Air Supply songs. Stay safe.
Bruce and Kelly
Daniel Apr 25th 2007 1:53AM
Hi Ember, your blog is very intersting,I'm a Chinese who live in beijing, hope i can make friends with you.
Daniel Apr 25th 2007 4:26AM
hi Ember, i like your blog, it's interesting!I am a Chinese who live in Beijing.
Lori and Todd Apr 26th 2007 8:06PM
Keep positive and flash that pretty smile around who could could resist!! Enjoy the bike what a great present to receive.
alessia Apr 26th 2007 2:46AM
你好史安贝! I didn't know u were such a good singer, hope to see your next show in beijing on may.
see u tomorrow at lesson......
alessia (阿丽西亚)
biker_frog May 31st 2007 9:12AM
When I have to deal with unnecessarily rude idiots, I sometimes challenge myself with silly word games. I love languages and thinking of funny or silly/clever word structures takes so much concentration and imagination that I forget to get angry at the idiots. Chinese is especially great for stuffing in multiple layers of meaning into the silly word games. Sometimes, I smile a lot like a mindless simple person. As a last resort, I tell people that I have to drain my lizard and start wandering away, calling for a lost iguana (or whatever other unusual creature). Usually this results in confusied looks and I giggle the rest of the day picturing the odd looks on their faces as I'm leaving. Ok it's really odd and demented but so far it has worked like a charm...Zan