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Funny Air Traffic Controller Quotes
I ran across a collection of funny air traffic controller quotes, and they're supposed to be real even though there'd be absolutely no way to prove their validity. Even so, let's just pretend they are because they're way funnier that way. Here's my favorite:
Control tower to a 747: "United 239 heavy, your traffic is a Fokker, one o'clock, three miles, eastbound."
United 239: "Approach, I've always wanted to say this ... I've got the little Fokker in sight."
Filed under: Airlines
Reader Comments (Page 1 of 1)
Steve Mar 22nd 2007 2:01PM
I know this one to be true...I was there. El Paso has a 'high approach' (known as penetration approaches)for the military and the initial approach fix is "fanny" 20 miles se of ELP. A lady controller was busy and clipped her phraseology "Talon one cleared for penetration at fanny" and then in the ensuing silence an anonomous pilot keyed the mike and said "Ah, center, we'd like one of those too."
ByUPuck Mar 22nd 2007 2:01PM
Some of the funniest stuff I've read a very long time. I'm still crying from laughing.
Chris Mar 24th 2007 7:58PM
Yeah, funny stuff but rather dated, Eastern, 727's even the WWII cracks need to be updated. I haven't flown a 180 since the late 70's Speedbird is what the Piedmont logo was called... best darn airline there ever was.
carry on I've got your six!
George Mar 22nd 2007 2:01PM
Speedbird was indeed the Piedmont logo but it also the call sign for British Airways flights.
Fred Meyers Mar 22nd 2007 2:03PM
Agreed. Peidmont..."best darn airline there ever was." And, yes, funny but dated humor. I, too haven't flown a 180 since the late 70's.
mike Mar 22nd 2007 2:02PM
Piedmont still exists... They operate as US Airways express. I worked for them up until about 4 years ago... then I was furloughed.
FAS1 Mar 22nd 2007 2:03PM
Pretty good stuff, Justin, even though it's dated.
Having worked at LGA for 35 years, it brought back
many pleasant memories and many smiles. No two days
are ever the same at a major airport!!! And it never gets boring!!!
mustang Mar 22nd 2007 2:03PM
I was a eastern employee back in the 80s at palm beach int. and heard this on one of our inbound flts- easten 883 heavy go around alligator crossing runway.
geneva goehl Mar 22nd 2007 2:02PM
PIEDMONT IS US AIRWAYS! Period. NOT EXPRESS.
I just retired from them after 37 years of service, two years ago.
John Sloan Mar 22nd 2007 2:02PM
While on my first solo flight. It started raining and sounded like hail hitting the plastic windshield.
Calling tower I reported it is raining an hail uphere. The tower asked me to repeat the transmission twice. On completing my five touch and go's I taxied back to the tower.
I then learned that they thought I had said it is raining like HELL uphere.
sherry Jun 19th 2007 4:28PM
Daggone I miss Piedmont. It was the best airline ever.
That was back in the old days, when there was such thing as service.
I don't fly anymore. It isn't worth the hassle and after that last letter to the GOP copied to the White House,
i am probably on the no fly list anyway
karen Jun 19th 2007 12:16AM
my friend was in the tower when a pilot on his first solo had an emergency. don't know if you will want to publish this, but he was experiencing smoke in the cockpit from an unknown source. but, he said "the smoke-pit is filled with cock!". sorry, but that is what he said.
Enthusiast Jun 19th 2007 1:08PM
Thanks so much for posting these. I haven't had such a good laugh in a long, long time. Making English the language of aviation sure set us up for an ongoing stream of jokes.
Jon Aldridge Jun 19th 2007 2:36AM
The ATC quotes, and the Squawk Sheets are some the best I've read. Really funny! I didn't see my favorite, so I'll submit it for your reading pleasure. It is purported to have taken place at Barksdale AFB. It goes someting like this.
An F-16 pilot on his way across the U.S. from Florida was experiencing engine problems and decided it would be best to land a the closest airport. He contacted Barksdale Air Force Base's tower in his best "Fighter Jock" voice saying "Barksdale Tower, Air Force 1234, 30 miles out, landing Barksdale, request expidited approach due to engine problems." Barksdale tower replied with "Air Force 1234, you are number two to land behind a B-52 who's coming in with an engine out. The F-16 pilot responded with the following reply. "Ah, the dreaded 7 engine approach."