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Gnomesville Massacre
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We posted a few months ago about how gnomes have somehow become the mascot of the travel world. From the "traveling gnome" legend, to the icon of Travelocity, the ubiquitous short, stout fellow seems to be popping up everywhere we turn.
And so it is with a heavy heart that we must report to our dear readers about a recent tragic event in which dozens of our beloved little travel buddies were horribly butchered.
The gnome-cide occurred in a forest just south of Perth, Australia where a gaggle of gnomes one-thousand strong were attacked by vandals who crushed and beheaded the peaceful, cherub creatures like some gigantic, roaring Godzilla laying waste to Japan.
While gnomes have been routinely set freed by the Front for the Liberation of Gnomes, this is the first case of wholesale slaughter amongst the tight-knit community. Has the FLG changed tactics? Was the act in retaliation for some unknown gnome discretions of the past? Perhaps a controversial laison with the human world? Or was it just some drunken teenagers with golf clubs?
No one knows the answer. But what we do know is that the gallant survivors, out of respect for their fallen comrades, have remained stoically on duty since the massacre, little shovels in hand, red hats askew, and tiny little midget tears glistening on their plaster faces. The earth may have lost its most loyal guardians, but heaven has gained some pint-sized angels.
