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Hunter Gatherer Parks

If you enjoy the outdoors and getting back to nature, you're going to be downright feral over one of the hottest new trends in adventure travel. Forget expensive Gortex and metal ice axes, we're talking pre-bronze age here. Yes, everyone is abuzz about the new hunter-gatherer parks that are sprouting up around the country, as well as in other parts of the world.

The brainchild of eminent anthropologist Dr. Therberd Melsius, whose study of the "Glack" people of the Amazon resulted in the Pulitzer prize-winning book: "Back with the Glack", Hunter Gatherer Parks (or HunGaths) are attracting adventure-minded types who are tired of all the fanciness and frippery that go along with most adventure sports.

The HunGath concept is simple: men hunt and women gather. See? What could be easier? Couples sign up and are issued loose-fitting loin cloths (made by Northface) and then are set free to roam in a big open space. The women are provided with short sticks with which they will dig in the ground for grubs and tubers.

Then men are offered either spears or slings, and set out for up to six days to track buffalo, antelope and deer that have been "seeded" throughout the park. The exercise, say those who have HunGathed, builds community spirit and teaches you essential skills, like how to most efficiently scrape meat from the carcass of a dead animal and how to build a fire out of rocks.

These HunGath parks are proving very popular among professional Red State couples who see in it the opportunity to get "back to basics" and where "traditional family values" really take center stage. But the fact is HunGaths are a good time for everyone, offering you the chance to experience the outdoors the way your forbears did.

Filed under: Arts and Culture, History, Learning, April Fools Posts

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